RhymePhile's Rat Race

Looks like the opening credits will be changing again...

In other news, I was hysterical at the final moments of SVU last night. I never actually "watch" the episode -- it's like a buzzing noise in the background of my evening. But after the *completely* WTF showdown at the end, I watched for Stephen Collins' totally laughable woobie face. HA! My comments during his scene: "They canceled 7th Heeeeeeeeeaven!!! Waaaaaaah!" LOL. Whoo, craptastic.

Okay, so there was nothing else on tonight, and I half-watched SVU. I have to say, I was laughing hysterically at the thought of Olivia being shocked. PUSH THE BUTTON, Elliot! Bwahahahahahahaaaaaa. Awesome. In other news, Meloni is totally phoning his performance in. Damn, boy, sorry you signed on the dotted line now, I bet. Also? This episode was written by Neal Baer. This is what he comes up with? Lord.

It's another nice morning here in Manhattan, so once again I decided to walk the 26 blocks to the office. It's partly because I'm in no particular hurry to get to work, and partly because it's good for my fat ass.

On the way this morning I saw a Tylenol billboard that said for every one pound of weight lost, four pounds of pressure are taken off your knees. I'm all for that.

But the most iconic NYC thing, if you will, I saw this morning was a guy taking a pee completely in sight of everyone on 9th Avenue. This wasn't one of those crazy homeless guys; oh no, it was just some worker dude who didn't even bother to find a john. Or even walk farther down the street to at least hide the fact that he was pissing in front of everyone for that matter.

As I passed him, by strange chance a female cop was walking my way. She didn't look like a parking cop as they have different patches on their uniforms. I told her there was a guy pissing around the corner. Her response?

"I don't wanna see that!"

*sigh*

And in semi-related NYPD news, could last week's teaser for last night's episode "Closet" of SVU be any worse? I'm guessing NBC chose to purposely ignore the gay athlete storyline and instead chose to focus on Bill Pullman's 2 minutes on screen? WTF? I tuned in last night more than halfway through, and when I saw the pretty, pretty guy Lincoln (played by an actor named Bailey Chase if you're interested) I was pissed that I might have actually enjoyed the episode. But noooooo, don't tell us that the storyline might actually mention homosexual reltionships, NBC! Instead, show us the awkward weird kiss between Oh I've Been Dating Her For Months Offscreen, Why Don't You Move In With Me Bill Pullman Character and Worst Detective EVAH Olivia Benson Who Had The Audacity To Be Annoyed When It Was Her Fault Cute Gay Sports Guy Almost Got Killed?

GAH, this show. Next week is Robin Williams chewing the scenery and shitting out Emmy nominations. That's a big HELL TO THE NO. I'll hold up my end of the bargain to the 170+ people that subscribe to my YouTube channel in order to watch the teasers, but that's it.

Meloni, when you're done with that poorly-written crap, let us know, okay? Even you can't get me to watch anymore.

The clips were direct from NBC/Universal for publicity use. I could post it, but it would be way too easy to track the IP and then *poof*, there goes my job, all for a crack-addled-monkey written episode. Heh.

( But I can tell you A LOT of the plot and exactly what Elliot's role is with Olivia's undercover thing behind the cut. SUPER SPOILERS AHOY, like, most of the episode! )

kaynyne wanted a Torchwood/SVU drabble in which "Stabler had seen some weird sex crime scenes, but this is a doozy! Who the hell is this guy trying to take over the crime scene anyway?"



Detective Elliot Stabler stood gazing down at the body, his finger to his pursed lips, when his partner Detective Olivia Benson walked in.

"Is that..."

"It looks like it."

"But how can it..."

"I have no idea."

"It's not..."

"No, I already checked. It's real."

"Elliot, it's a fish."

"It is."

"It's a man with a fish for a head."

"I noticed that."

"And he's wearing leather chaps."

"I noticed that too."

( This came out a bit longer than I thought! )

To my Wire homies: It's Cheese, yo!

Oh, I felt bad about not uploading this. It's Hurty!Elliot. I had to post this. I wound up recording the teaser from my DVRed episode, putting it onto DVD-RAM, converting it to MPEG, and then editing and uploading. Because I love.

Last night I taped SVU and watched Nip/Tuck. My co-worker Mary doesn't have a TV but became obsessed with the good doctors of McNamara/Troy via DVD. I've been recording it on DVD for her. And also, many of my Flist watch. (colleendetroit, I was thinking of you during almost every scene last night!)

Apparently while I was watching the glorious hedonism of Sean and Christian in LA, I missed exploding pizzas in the squadroom and Olivia booking a suspect -- literally. I heard she actually hit the guy with a book.

I need a moment to BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

*wipes tears* Oh, SVU. You've turned into the soap opera of dramas. Are we going to get evil twins next? Characters that have been married multiple times? Scenes like that classic from Soapdish?

"He was decapitated! Do you know what that means? It means he doesn't have a head! How am I supposed to write for a guy who doesn't have a head? He's got no lips, no vocal cords!"

Or maybe we're going to get some kind of horrible, Emmy-worthy ailment, like blindness?

Oh, wait...

( More bwahahahaahaaaaing and Nip/Tuck-ing behind the cut )

Hee. Isabel Gillies, who plays Kathy Stabler on SVU, got married.

Read about it here.

Oh, I was gonna go to bed early, but I feel it's my duty! Pay attention in the spot for the fabulous Kyle Gallner, who played Beaver on Veronica Mars.

I walked by there after work, and it seemed as though most of the filming was going on inside the seminary (which is Episcopalian, for those interested; see my previous post). It's a pretty building, although I've never seen the inside.

There were a total of four trailers on 9th Ave., with a few more closer to the seminary, which is on, um, I wanna say 23rd St. I didn't notice any of the mega star trailers, which would indicate Those Who Deserve Big Trailers Because They Get Paid So Much, so perhaps they weren't in this scene today. I tell you though, they picked a lovely day to film outside. It was gorgeous in the City today.

Coming upon the first trailer, there were about five doors total on one long trailer, each door going to a separate space for what I'm guessing was makeup. One of the doors was open as I passed by, but I couldn't see much. There were two extras standing there, one a skinny blonde woman who was playing pregnant (a fellow co-worker saw her reading a script and the extra mentioned the stomach was fake), and the other a dark-haired Latina who was dressed in, shall we say, streetwalking clothes. One hopes she was an extra and not the friend of the blonde, because, hee!

The names on one of the doors read "Latrice Minez" (which I diligently wrote down on a notepad). Another door was labeled "Lake" for Adam Beach's character, and it seems as though poor "Fin" gets to share his makeup trailer with a "Traci Bell," because both names were on one door.

Oh, and now that I think about it, I might have seen a fake cop eating at a food trailer this morning. As I passed this morning I initially thought he had stopped at a regular street vendor to get something to eat (and I noticed he was wearing sergeant's stripes), but when I passed the same trailer this evening it was definitely for production only. So be on the lookout for a slightly tall, heavyset, bald-headed black cop among the extras of the episode.

Other than that, I'm guessing they did most of the filming within the interior of the seminary. I'd like to know the episode title at least. I guess we'll have to wait until the season starts.

On my way to work this morning, I came across NYPD notices taped to the parking meters, announcing that SVU would be filming in the neighborhood today.

I might have *coff* borrowed one that listed the filming locations. Hee. I'm bad. It's not like they have only one, though.

Monday, July 2 between 7 a.m. to 10 p.m.
Filming will occur in the following locations:
The East side of 9th. Ave. between W. 17th and W. 20th Streets
The West side of 9th Ave. between W. 18th and W. 19th Streets
1/2 block on the North side of W. 20th St. between 9th and 10th Avenues

Apparently they will also be filming on the property of the General Theological Seminary.

All those are within steps of my office. And, lucky for me, I was too lazy to pack a lunch today! I think I might have to walk around a bit to truly decide on what I want to eat. Heh.

Walking down 9th I already saw a few trailers, one with "Fin" and "Lake" taped to the doors. No super-fancy mega trailers that would announce Meloni and Hargitay, though. I also saw two that said "Lucy" and "Desi", which is pretty funny. There was one there that said "Stunts" as well and the guest star, although I can't recall the name.

I really need to get a little camera to carry around with me when I come to work for occasions such as this. Can you believe I even forgot my phone with its teeny tiny camera in it today???

Via The Hollywood Reporter:

NEW YORK -- Richard Belzer has a story to tell you -- about a guy named Richard Belzer.

The actor-comedian has signed with Simon & Schuster to write two mystery books featuring himself as a TV performer caught up in his own plot.

"It is with great enthusiasm that I will bring the world of show business, celebrity worship, sly social commentary and even 'cameos' by real celebrities into my literary adventures," Belzer said in a statement released Monday by his publicist.

He plays Detective John Munch on NBC's "Law & Order: SVU."

Belzer continued: "A potent mix of Dashiell Hammett, Oscar Wilde, Lenny Bruce and Robert Altman seasoned by the Belzerian vision of life, as the wry and raucous, raunchy worlds of make-believe and reality converge, this is the first 'reality novel' of the new millennium that explores a unique universe that poses the question, 'What is reality?' " The first book, "I Am Not a Cop," will be published in fall 2008.


There is a "Belzerian" vision of life? Sign me up!!

Oh dear...rumor has it that Law & Order: CI actors will not be getting a raise this year because of the cutbacks with NBC and CI having to move to the USA network.

D'Onofrio, Erbe, and Noth have until 5 p.m. to accept the offer. Ah, guys. Times are tough all over! Cinch those belts tighter! I mean, all the actors on SVU have been struggling to make their rents, right?

Oh, wait.

Betcha the CI crew would love to mob up and go after Meloni and Mariska right now.

Screwed. Huh. That's how I feel about tonight's totally lame episode. But...we did get Elliot in that black polo shirt again, and ooh, didja see that nice new winter coat he was sporting? For the past few episodes the only reason I've been able to pay attention is by watching to see what they're dressing Meloni in. Oh? And also? By keeping my eyes peeled for Olivia's Jumper of Justice (tm)!

Seriously, I don't know why I even bother watching this any more. At least we had some Munch tonight -- albeit spouting conspiracy theory whackjobbery.