RhymePhile's Rat Race

Lip Smacky McLipSmack, a woman who is two cubes away and IS THE MOST ANNOYING PERSON ON THE PLANET (aside from a guy I used to work with who grinded his effin' TEETH all day) and who also CANNOT CLOSE HER MOUTH WHEN SHE CHEWS is chewing gum. I can't listen to my music any louder lest my brain ooze from my ears. I CAN'T DROWN IT OUT.

ALL DAY LONG IT IS CHEWING. CHHHEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWING. At breakfast it is crunching crunching crunching of celery and cottage cheese and lunch is slurping and chewing and talking on the phone with that cringe-inducing laugh of hers and OH MY GOD I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE.

Thank the Lords of Kobol this week is over! (That was a geeky Battlestar Galactica reference there)

I have my relative pains when it comes to commuting 80 miles each way every day, but yesterday took the cake and ate it too.

Our bus broke down just outside the Lincoln Tunnel (headed home to NJ) only about 10 minutes after we left Port Authority. So at 5:20 we were stuck.

There were around 40 people on the bus, and what annoys me to no end is that the driver didn't say shit about what was going on, i.e. if he called it in, if they were sending another bus, what was happening, all that.

At first we thought we would get another bus, but NO! We had to wait for other buses that were headed on our route to pull over, and try to get on. Well, as Rhymey likes to sit in the back, I couldn't get on the first bus that stopped because most of the front of our bus piled onto the other one. Bitches. Then the second bus was too crowded. Fast forward to an HOUR AND A HALF LATER, the time we would have ALREADY BEEN HOME, and I finally get on a bus THAT'S NOT EVEN STOPPING WHERE I PARKED MY CAR.

But by that point I was ready to get on any bus that was going anywhere near south Jersey. Luckily, one of my bus friends was nice enough to drive me back to where my car was parked.

Thus...I left my office at 4:35 to catch a 5:10 bus. We broke down. What time did I finally get home? 8 effin' 30 at night. 8:30! Four hours door to door. GAH.

The universe is so lucky I had already set up Supernatural to be recorded. I'll have to watch it this weekend. *sigh*

I basically scarfed down dinner and went to bed. What a night.

I'm giving away two free tickets to see Will Ferrell's new movie, Semi-Pro later today, so if you haven't thrown your name into the pool, you still have time!

Go to my original post over here and follow the directions. Easy! And you get two tickets.

Right now there are only three people in the raffle, so why not add your name?

In semi-related news, I hate the Oscars and they haven't even aired yet. Gah. SO MUCH STRESS IN WORK. Oh, and it's also SNOWING today. Double gah.

It's okay...chocolate can cure anything.

I haven't been able to keep up with LJ this week, so I hope everyone is doing okay. The main reason? The Oscars are on Sunday (I'll be here, in New York City, in work, covering them and updating the Big Dot Com's website as the winners are announced) and I've been super busy.

You wouldn't think it should be such a stressful time; last year went off without a hitch and ran smoothly. Maybe this year I'm a bit stressed because MY BOSS DECIDED NOW WAS A GOOD TIME TO GO ON VACATION. Gah!

Within the next week he's off there's the Oscars, a huge sale, and now I have the responsibility to look after all of DVD, on top of completing my own pages (which I haven't even started yet). And since he won't be here I can't take Monday off. I'm going to be up until 1 a.m.-ish...I wanted a comp day.

I did stop and buy myself some Entenmann's chocolate frosted donuts last night. I soothe stress with fattening products. Mmmmmmmm.

*deep sigh*

Oh, quick note about the season finale of Nip/Tuck, which I watched last night: It's like stawberry-flavored blow. It's so wrong, yet so tasty. Also? "I can't believe I have to say this, but stop sleeping with your sister!" BWAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!! Christian gets all the best lines, fo realz.

Anyway, I'm also reminding everyone who didn't hear about it to check out my Free Movie Ticket Giveaway Drawing that's occurring tomorrow. You get two free tickets to the new Will Ferrell comedy Semi-Pro. Details and such are available by clicking the link.

I've realized of late that many of my recent entries are all personal-like, due mainly to the fact that TV is sucktastic right now. Sorry about that.

This weekend The Wire Season 5 begins, and I'm excited even if only 4 other people on my Flist share my enthusiasm. People, you are missing the best show on TV next to Battlestar Galactica, which I am also extememly concerned about because of the strike. It's their last season, and they never finished filming! Who knows if they will? I feel the same about Pushing Daisies, which ended on a cliffhanger of sorts.

Thank goodness the week is over. Despite it being short, I just had no will to be here in work and deal with the toil of the commute. Some days the crowded bus, the crowded Port Authority, the crowded subway, the crowded streets, and the crowded elevator really, really take their toll. Do you know what it's like to constantly be touched by strangers every day? I've never been in such close proximity to absolute strangers in my life, and believe me, even after four years of doing this I get to the point that I'm anxious and frazzled and want to hit someone. You lose your patience, civility, and consideration when you're bombarded by humanity every day. I have a low tolerance for humans as it is. I'm really not made for city life. I'd be happier milking a cow or dealing with animals every morning. Seriously.

On top of that, the only two people I talk to in work were moved to new desks far across the other side of the office. Now the only socializing in which I partake is literally here on LJ.

I need the weekend, obviously.

Happy Birfday to vestafour! I hope your coming year is filled with happiness, love, and good health!

In other news, InsaneJournal is having another permanent account sale, for only $35 (ETA Which comes with 300 userpics!). I went ahead and took advantage of this, mostly because I'm not too fond of what our new Russian Overlords have been saying.

It's been disturbing, to say the least, to read these vague posts about taste and decency and the new "Thought Police" standards they plan on implementing. What bothers me more is that they've provided absolutely no clear-cut answers.

LJ is remarkable in that you have almost instant access to your audience. You post something, someone asks a question, and you can answer it in virtually seconds. What the fuck is going on here that we can't get simple answers to our questions? And these questions are important, especially in light of the "taste and decency" comments, and comments about religion. GAH. It makes me angry.

I wish I could pick all of you up (Friends and regular readers alike) and stick everyone over at InsaneJournal. I know it will allow us more freedom, but until my audience moves, I'll only visit there on occasion. But I figured that for only $35 for a permanent account, it was worth it, even if I never use it. I don't mind giving money to uphold IJ's freedom.

I like LJ and all the bells and whistles it provides (even though I never bothered changing my layout because I don't...sorta...know how), but if this Big Brother, 1984, Thoughtpolice, crimethink-esque feeling continues, I'm taking my toys and going to IJ.

ETA 2: Does anyone know of an easy way to batch-save all my icons that I have here at LJ? I already know how to move everything over to IJ

By now we've all heard about the silly LJ flagging system/voluntary labeling of journals, yes? You also heard me mention in a previous post that LJ has set our journals to filter adult content by default.

Confused about how to change it? Annoyed that you have to keep verifying your age? Here's a handy basic visual tutorial explaining what you need to click to guarantee you don't miss out on your pr0n.

( A visual guide to adult content settings changes )

Well, it had to come to this eventually, I suppose. Now LJ users have the option of flagging other people's posts "as Explicit Adult, Offensive Content, Hate Speech, Illegal Activity, or Nude Images of Minors."

Oh, this is bad my friends.

After being flagged it gets sent to LJ's Abuse Prevention Team, which will decide if the flagged content is indeed naughty. Who determines what is explicit? This so-called "Abuse Prevention Team"? Are you kidding?

What's considered "offensive"? My views? My opinions? My icon? My interests? My language? Did you know they can say "fuck" on terrestrial British television, unlike in the United States? What exactly is "explicit adult"? A painting of a classic nude? Or a screencap from a porno movie? Did you know that in Europe nudity is no big deal?

If you were a homophobe and came to my journal, you'd be flagging me all over the place. ( Note from Rhyme: All love is love!)

If you thought that the TV series Oz was nothing more than exploitative violence and homosexual trysts, and then heard me talk about it, you'd be flagging me too. ( Note from Rhyme: There weren't enough trysts in my opinion)

My interests are varied and unique, and thus I tend to talk about all different kinds of topics here. My user info already has a disclaimer explaining that I am an adult, which means I will talk about WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT. If you find that offensive, GO AWAY! Jeez. I'm not forcing you to read stories about gay sex, fer crying out loud. If you're a kid and you find this blog, don't read stuff that's not appropriate for you. Parents, take responsibilty for your child's net surfing.

When I get off my lazy ass and post stories again, you will find them to be labeled based on the Motion Picture Association of America system, e.g. G, PG, PG-13, R, and NC-17. I will not label my stories with the LJ "adult content" flag or whatever it is. I will not mark this blog as having "adult concepts" or "explicit adult content." It's patently unenforceable, ill-conceived, and simply wrong.

Right now LJ is filtering "explicit adult and offensive content" as default on our journals (which, interestingly enough, I didn't see mentioned anywhere). If anyone on your Flist labels their posts as such, you won't be able to see it. Make sure you go into Journal > Settings > Adult Content Options to change it.

I pay for this blog. In fact, this account is paid through 2009. I don't want LiveJournal to become some sort of Nazi state.

SixApart, I'll give you money for the privilege of posting here, and in exchange, please assume that I am not out to corrupt minors with "adult content" on this blog. Please consider me an intelligent and responsible paying customer who understands the notion of my right to free speech, within reason. I don't plan on inciting violence based on hate speech or yelling "Fire" in a crowded theater any time soon.

Just let me do my thing. Leave me, my blog, and my opinions the fuck alone.

I thought I would comment about the recent deletion/suspension/purges in fandom due to the crazy "watchdog" group. I put that in quotes because apparently the person/blogowner spearheading this whole thing has possible ties to some disturbing right-wing Christian groups. *sigh*

I guess writing slash means I'm a degenerate. Hmm. Perhaps I should write wholesome, appropriate fan fiction instead. Enjoy!


Strikethru Follies
By RhymePhile

One afternoon, two sexy lovers happily married guys, Chris Keller and Toby Beecher, made their way to the front door of a male strip club church.

Keller was in his mid-40s, with blue eyes, dark hair, and a penchant for making everyone that lived and breathed want to have sex happy with him. Beecher was blonde, blue-eyed, with a weakness for men with blue eyes and dark hair giving too much money to the church.

"Hey, Beech," Keller called. "I sure can't wait to get my eyes on that sweet, sweet manflesh! book of church hymns!"

"I hear ya, Keller," Beecher replied amicably. "I sure enjoy watching men dancing naked the choir, with their thick cocks flowing robes and washboard abs! heavenly voices!"

"I wish I could have a cock sing like that," Keller sighed.

"Are you kidding?" Beecher scoffed. "Your hard, throbbing manrammer voice is wonderful. "You give me hot, sweaty anal intercourse practice singing every night."

"That's true," Keller agreed. "I enjoy fucking you like a zoo monkey lifting my voice to the heavens."

"I can feel you deep inside me wanting to share your love for a newer, happier,peaceful, non-bigoted, free-thinking, equal rights right-wing, gay-hating America when you fuck me sing!"

"That's for sure," Keller said happily. "I wish we all could just love and respect out neighbors, regardless of who they love and how they choose to worship be one large homogenized community filled with like-minded people!"

"Yes! That deserves a big Fuck that shit, let's go fuck! Amen!"


The End!

UGH. Big Brother here at Large Dot Com have decided to block access to all web mail systems. That means NO ACCESS TO MY E-MAIL AT ALL DURING THE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This, obviously, does not make me happy. I feel completely cut off. Now I can't e-mail anyone unless I use my work e-mail, and I don't want to, which is why web mail is so important. GAH. I can't even access my Comcast (home) e-mail account because that's via the web too when I'm in work.

WOE.

Heaven forbid they cut off access to LJ. I don't know what I'd do.

Yeah, so, the excitement was short-lived.

Zazzle already took down my design because it apparently infringed on the copyrighted South Park images. Which, bullshit. I wrote back to Zazzle to argue that the actual animation process on South Park isn't copyrighted, and that anyone can create characters in the South Park "style." I also mentioned that neither of the original designs I created can be mistaken for any South Park character specifically.

But chances are this ain't gonna fly. Nazis. It made Tom Fontana laugh, goddammit. WHHHYYYYYY can't I just make some cool T-shirts???

I can't use the original process of making the shirt because it's not high-enough quality, and it would drain my printer ink after about two printings. Maybe I'll have to look into creating the design via that laser printing process, and put it on one of those red-sleeved baseball ringer T-shirts, albeit in white.

Want to know what's even worse??? I got Chris Meloni's address to send him a shirt. *sigh*

That totally, completely, utterly faked eBay auction offering "autographed" items from Lee and Chris concluded at $111.50, plus a $30 flat-rate shipping charge!!! GAH. Can you believe that? eBay wrote me a form e-mail in response to my complaint, so nothing will get done. Great. But for you Ozzies out there, beware of the seller

mint_cyan

or anything else from the seller's store. I feel bad for the person shelling out that much for something worthless.

As you may recall, this completely and utterly fake 8 x 10 full of "autographs" from Oz stars was up for auction on eBay, along with a bunch of mystery items. I bid, I didn't look closely enough at the image, (because I am dumb) and then noticed and confirmed the autographs were beyond fake, thanks in part to my Flist.

I wrote the seller three times, concerned that if I retracted the bid I'd have problems. They never wrote back -- I even told them the signatures were faked and offered to show proof, thinking that maybe they purchased the autographs from someone else in error. Then, I wrote eBay asking if I could retract a bid if I knew something was faked. I didn't hear back, so I officially retracted the bid, because I'm not paying for fake shit. Luckily, nothing has come of it thus far. I'm not worried, though.

Anyway, I happened to look at the auction today, and it's still going on, and there's a new addition to the lot: a 6-foot-tall factory standee of Chris Meloni.

Okay, WTF?? Now, I've seen the standees of sports stars, Luke Skywalker, good ol' Darth Vader, Captain Picard, hell, even fuckin' Paris Hilton fer Chrissakes...but are you seriously asking me to believe there's a cardboard Chris Meloni out there? If there is, this seller created it from pixie dust and magic beans, because I checked out places you can buy standees on the net, and he ain't there. If he was, he'd be staring down at me every night from beside my bed. Heh.

I got out of the auction in time, thankfully, but I feel bad for the poor person who is going to be gypped out of, lessee, the bid is at $25 right now, with $30 for shipping!! The bidder is listed as private, otherwise I would totally e-mail the person.

Live and learn, I guess, but this seller has 100% positive feedback, which just sucks when this is such an obvious rip-off.

Just like everyone thought, the Federal Marriage Amendment was defeated. If I had booze I would celebrate, but I'm in work, so maybe I'll read gay pr0n instead. Heh.

I thought my Flist might be interested to know the senators who voted against this stupid idea in the first place. Show your support for these (mostly Democrat) men and women when it comes time. List comes from http://www.hrc.org.

Akaka, Daniel K. (D-HI)
Kohl, Herb (D-WI)
Baucus, Max (D-MT)
Landrieu, Mary L. (D-LA)
Bayh, Evan (D-IN)
Lautenberg, Frank R. (D-NJ)
Biden, Joseph R. (D-DE)
Leahy, Patrick J. (D-VT)
Bingaman, Jeff (D-NM)
Levin, Carl (D-MI)
Boxer, Barbara (D-CA)
Lieberman, Joseph I. (D-CT)
Cantwell, Maria (D-WA)
Lincoln, Blanche (D-AR)
Carper, Thomas R. (D-DE)
McCain, John (R-AZ)
Chafee, Lincoln D. (R-RI)
Menendez, Bob (D-NJ)
Clinton, Hillary Rodham (D-NY)
Mikulski, Barbara A. (D-MD)
Collins, Susan (R-ME)
Murray, Patty (D-WA)
Conrad, Kent (D-ND)
Nelson, Bill (D-FL)
Dayton, Mark (D-MN)
Obama, Barack (D-IL)
Dorgan, Byron L. (D-ND)
Pryor, Mark (D-AR)
Durbin, Richard J. (D-IL)
Reed, Jack (D-RI)
Feingold, Russell D. (D-WI)
Reid, Harry (D-NV)
Feinstein, Dianne (D-CA)
Salazar, Ken (D-CO)
Gregg, Judd (R-NH)
Sarbanes, Paul S. (D-MD)
Harkin, Tom (D-IA)
Schumer, Charles (D-NY)
Inouye, Daniel K. (D-HI)
Snowe, Olympia (R-ME)
Jeffords, James M. (I-VT)
Specter, Arlen (R-PA)
Johnson, Tim (D-SD)
Stabenow, Debbie (D-MI)
Kennedy, Edward M. (D-MA)
Sununu, John E. (R-NH)
Kerry, John F. (D-MA)

As if this country can sink any lower into the depths of right-wing hysteria, President Bush is seeking an amendment to the most revered document in the U.S., the U.S. Constitution, in order to ban gay marriage. When has the Constitution been amdended in the past for example?

To abolish slavery.

To give women the right to vote.

Amendments are rare, momentous occasions that have taken place in U.S. history, and rather than focus on, oh, say the almost 3,000 men and women who have been killed in the quagmire of Iraq, or the corrupt oil industry, or the destruction of our last green places in the U.S., Bush and his cronies are more concerned about two people of the same sex wanting to share the same rights and equal treatment under the law as heterosexual couples do when married. What a concept.

I rarely (if ever) post personal stuff here to my LJ, just because I don't think people are all that interested in my shit. But in this case, I'm making an exception because I am fucking pissed off at the possibility of a war-mongering, racist, and blantantly homophobic future for our country. We're headed that route now, and it makes me embarassed to be an American.

I urge everyone who reads this to head over to the Human Rights Campaign website to fill out an online postcard.
http://www.hrcactioncenter.org/campaign/fma_postcards?rk=SpMZuB617XrQE

You don't have to do anything other than type your name and e-mail in the little boxes to protest this outrage.

Agree or disagree with me, I don't mind. But I have a feeling a majority of people who are on my Flist think the same way I do.

God forbid this ever passes.

Don't ask me what put me in such a crappy mood this morning, but it hasn't abated and it's already 2:30 in the afternoon. And I'm hungry.

( Rhymey's fruitless search for food in the Big Apple, where she didn't even find fruit )

Working in the dot-com world, you tend to have your busy days and your not-so-busy days. Many of my days fall into the latter, not because I don't want to work, but because sometimes there just isn't all that much to do.

Thus, I heart the internets. I mean, hell, LiveJournal has become my home away from home, and since we're on a fast connection here in work, it makes surfing a lot less stressful than it does at home, where I have dial-up.

Anyhoo, the point of the matter is this: apparently Big Brother is going to start checking up on us, like what sites we're logging on to and such. This? Is very, very bad. This is bad is such monumental proportions that I can't even describe it to you. No, I'm not annoyed because now I have to worry if I want to check Hotmail (well, I kinda do) but I'm kinda bothered because my work load isn't all that huge -- I enjoy what I do, but there isn't a whole lot of it every day to keep me busy for 8 hours. Which sucks. I wouldn't mind being busy. That's just how this job is.

Alas, now we can never be sure when they're watching and when they're not. Now I'm gonna have panic attacks when I want to check my Hotmail. Gah. And surfing around for fic, pictures, and all that neato stuff I really should be doing at home if I had a faster connection, but that I do in work because livin' is easy and I have time to devote to basically goofing off.

This also might mean I'm going to have to get a faster net connection at home -- although since I get home at 7 p.m. every night, this doesn't leave much time for surfing.

*sigh* This sucks.

There comes a time in everyone's new year when they make their various resolutions and such. I guess I'll be trying to lose weight again this year. Ugh. Maybe it's easier just to lounge on a beach until I'm mistakenly harpooned.

( Ack! Rhyme is losing the battle of the bulge! Alert the Japanese whalers! )

Okay, I've about had it with this whole subway and bus strike thing. My shin feels like it's going to pop through my damn leg as I walk, and my bad knee (dislocated once while in Army ROTC in college, and then again a few years ago at a kung-fu tournament -- Rhymey's a tomboy) is aching me. There are supposed to be more talks this afternoon, and my fingers are crossed that this gets settled, because, ow.

However, since I'm not a native New Yorker, walking has allowed me to notice a few things I haven't before, to wit:

1. Steaming sewers do not a pleasant walk make. Blargh.

2. Narrow sidewalks, cigarettes, and my nose are not a good combination.

3. Oh, these gay boys and their dogs. This morning I saw a gorgeous Afghan and a little Scottish terrier with a teeny sweater on. The dogs, not the gay boys.

4. There's an open-24-hours store that sells gay accoutrements/fetish wear/porn stuff/toys/I'm not sure what else called the Rainbow Station a couple of streets down. In their window are two mannequins, one in leather chaps holding a little Santa Claus and the other with a ball gag in its mouth. I heart Chelsea.

5. Outside the Paradise Cafe (I forget the street) there's a chalkboard with an illustration of a bowl of soup with the legend, "Hot soup, dammit!" It cracks me up every time I see it. I think it's the exclamation point that does it.

6. If you're trying to get to/from work, don't get behind old people, women pulling those little carts for groceries, people carrying luggage, bitches in high heels, women with their kids, or business men on their cell phones. Also try to stay away from people who don't wear hats on their heads, because usually they aren't wearing them since hats mess up hair. That also means the person not wearing the hat has bathed themselves in disgusting, sinus-clearing perfume or cologne.

One good thing is that my boss isn't here today, so I plan on sitting here in my comfy desk chair and continuing my M/K heroin story.

The transit strike in New York City, that is. Ow, my calves and shins, people! Now I remember why I take the subway, because walking in 11-degree weather sucks the big one, yo!! I'm also drained by the time I get to work and feel like I need to take a nap. The exercise is good for me and my fat ass of course, but it's like having gym as your very first class in school, and you have the rest of the day to feel exhausted. Whew.

I timed my walk back to 42nd St. last night and made it there in 23 minutes. That's pretty good. I need to walk around the annoying, slow people who don't have the common sense to STAY TO THE RIGHT when the rest of us are trying to hurry. That drives me nuts. As you get closer to midtown the sidewalks narrow, so that if two people are walking next to each other they cause a huge buildup of people. I usually walk in the street in that case. Another thing, what's with people walking their damn dogs in the middle of rush hour? I mean, Christ, have the dog piddle outside your front stoop and then wait a little while to take him for a longer walk! And don't even get me started with these snooty City bitches with their fancy coats and high heels who are frickin' STROLLING along the damn sidewalks talking on their cell phones! I can't put up with that shit; I'm from Jersey.

*deep breath*

Dude, I need some chocolate...and hey, I'll burn it off twice as quickly!