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So it's come to this
apatheticThere comes a time in everyone's new year when they make their various resolutions and such. I guess I'll be trying to lose weight again this year. Ugh. Maybe it's easier just to lounge on a beach until I'm mistakenly harpooned.
I was talking to my bud tankgirlh about this, which brought me to this post. Unfortunately for me, the Fates stuck me with PCOS, or Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, a whacked-out endrocrine system disorder that screws with my insides and my outside, leading to a generally unhappy-all-the-time Rhymey. It causes weight gain, hair growth, hormonal dysfunction, acne, crazy menstrual cycles, reproductive problems, and other delightful shit. Trust me, the hair growth is the worst.
I was diagnosed a while ago and I'm supposed to be on meds for it, but the doctor I went to was more concerned with his other patients in the office who were trying to get pregnant. I don't need any babies right now, thanks. I'd just like to go out on a date. The Dr. Asshole actually left our consultation at one point to tango with someone's sperm and eggs. Dude. Whatever. He was rude, I left the office, and haven't been back since. That was a while ago.
Since I now work in New York City, I thought I would pick out a nice specialist to visit. Alas, none of the ones suggested by the PCOS Association are covered by my insurance, and the one that looked promising charges $600 just for the consultation. I already know I have it, so I figure that money is probably better off being spent on a treadmill. And believe me, for a disease/syndrome/affliction/whatever, finding a doctor who understands what this is doing to my body is difficult.
Hell, I can't blame the PCOS for all of it, since genetics, my emotional makeup, and poor eating habits contribute to a lot of my problems, too. And, y'know, I love food. Long, emotionally-screwed up childhood story short, I need to find something else to make me happy. Food and I are BFF. Food and I like to romp across the fields together, hand in hand. We take long strolls on the beach, after which we cuddle. Giving that up is like, hard, and stuff. Edy's Grand Light French Silk ice cream takes the place of romantic relationships -- or any relationships, for that matter, I suppose. And my cat doesn't talk, making things lonely at times. That's why I love TV. TV -- teacher...mother...secret lover. Heh, Homer Simpson.
Anyhoo, I've decided just to make an appointment with my general practioner, and get her to prescribe me the drugs I'm supposed to be on. I'll probably have to wait a month or so until I can see her. When I was first diagnosed I didn't really want to be on drugs for the rest of my life, but I guess I've resigned myself to the fact that this isn't going away, and only seems to be getting worse as the years go on. I ain't gettin' any younger. Well, okay, 31 isn't old exactly, but I'm headed toward Old Maid territory mighty quick. I think I might need more cats to complete my look, except I already hate cleaning the poo-poo box for one cat.
I don't really need or want a husband, because, dirty dishes in the sink, doing whatever the hell I want when I want, and hee, porn, but it would be nice to have someone pay attention to me for once. Just once.
And then I can get that 60-inch plasma TV and a couple of extra cats, and be content.
Sometimes a nutritionist will help. At least it helps to know what to stay away from and things that worsen your PCOS. I have osteoporosis but I'm allergic to milk. I go in phases where I stay away from dairy but more often I have a little every few days. Oh a diet trick,(I just lost 35 pounds) I will buy the 85% cocoa chocolate. I only need to eat a little after dinner because it is so rich. Another friend swears ny good diet root beer and small amounts of half & half, her mock root bear float. Anyway good luck with your resolutions and a happy new year!
But...I have to try, because I'm only 31 and I'm unhappy.
In general, this post sounds like it was written by me... so I understand.
That probably doesn't make you want to go to the doctor, does it.
I really do need to lose some weight and get fit, but it just seems like something always comes up. Between job issues and health problems, somehow the years seem to go by a little more quickly than I expect. Still, I'm 36 now, and I feel like this is kind of my last chance to lose weight while I'm still relatively young(ish). I've got some added incentive now though. My mother has PKD, polycystic kidney disease, and in a few years I am going to be donating a kidney to her. I need to be in good shape for the surgery. I'm thinking of having my regular physician refer me to a nutritionist. I've got to be sure and do it right. If I lose weight too quickly or go on some nutty diet, I could end up being a worse candidate for the surgery than I would have been otherwise.
Anyway, maybe we can be weight-loss buddies, lol. It's always good to have a friend to commisserate with. One thing I am planning to do is to try a new healthy recipe every week. I've got quite a few healthy cookbooks, so I figure, I'll pick one out every Thursday, pick up the ingredients on the way home Friday night, and cook it over the weekend. I'm hoping to expand my repertoire a little.
I definitely sympathize with you on the PCOS. I feel like I have all the symptoms, but my problem is, no one has ever been able to find anything wrong with me. I've had the tests, had the ultrasounds, but the doctors say there are no cysts on my ovaries. Kind of frustrating for me, because if you know what's wrong, then you can fix it, right? But in my case, they swear there's nothing wrong.
But sure, I wouldn't mind a diet/healthy eating buddy. And you have an even more important reason to get healthy, fer yer kidneys! LOL.
About the cysts on your ovaries: when I was diagnosed, the specialist told me he didn't have to do an ultrasound, because the diagnosis is *clinical*, meaning a specialist just has to look at you and can tell. It's fairly obvious in my case, since I actually have to *shave* every morning. Yep! The hair growth is that bad. I even tried laser treatments, but after a $1000, it didn't help.
You should take the quiz on the PCOS site I linked in my post and see if you have the symptoms.
There's not much to do except take the drugs that are supposed to help insulin absorption, and lose weight. Apparently that helps with the secondary symptoms.
I am hypothyroid, and every month it seems I end up with one of the wonderful related miseries. I also have fibromyalgia, multiple chemical sensitivities, and two other conditions that I don't want to discuss in public, and now my endocrinologist wants to test me for celiac disease because I am constantly anemic and have a B12 deficiency. (I was also checked for PCOS and no cysts were found.) I have gained tons of weight and just cannot lose it. I had lost 30 pounds when I was taking Wellbutrin (weight loss is an off label use for it), but it made me cranky so I went off it. Guess where those thirty pounds are now?
Anyways, my advice is to research, research, research. I knew years ago I was hypothyroid as I had every single symptom except the infertility one (I, too, am not trying to get pregnant, thank you very much). It took over three years of seeing different doctors and being dismissed with a prescription for antidepressants each time before I found a wonderful Nurse Practitioner who listened to me. She bucked the "good old boy" medical profession and ordered an ultrasound on my thyroid. Enlarged and with cysts, by the way.
Don't let any doctor intimidate you or tell you there's nothing wrong or nothing they can do or, worse, dismiss you with the notion that it's all in your head. Unfortunately, there are a lot of Dr. Assholes out there.
Good luck, Rhyme. I, too, sympathize with you. Hopefully the B12 shots and the renewed prescription for Wellbutrin will help me. But in the meantime, I'll be miserable along with you!
Y'know, I'm going to talk my doctor (who is a woman, chunky, and really easy to talk to) about the hypothyroidism. I think my aunt has that (my father's sister) and as I take after my father's side moreso than my mother's, there's probably something to that. It's going to mean taking another day off of work to get blood tests, I'm sure. Ah well.
Yeah, you should definitely have your thyroid levels checked because your chances of having thyroid problems are much greater if it runs in the family. The thyroid gland affects every system in your body and it's important that it is functioning properly. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people out there (mostly women) who are living with undiagnosed thyroid conditions that are told it's in their head or are attributing it to age, stress, hormones, etc. Many of the symptoms are similar to hormone-related conditions and other conditions so the diagnosis may be missed. My first symptoms mimicked menopause, so that was the easy diagnosis for the docs to make.
Your doc sounds like my endocrinologist. The fact that she's easy to talk to is the most important thing. Many doctors are "too busy" or have that ego thing happening that prevents them from actually listening and talking to their patients. Or my personal favorite, the ones that pat you on the head and tell you not to worry your pretty little head and let the big, smart man do all the worrying for you. Ugh.
Good luck with whatever you do. There's a lot of support out there for those with PCOS, thyroid issues or whatever. I found some of the groups (Yahoo) to be very helpful. I also found that I wasn't alone and many people went through the same frustrating process I did. And through their trial and error, they have some good advice about meds, natural therapies, diet and exercise, and other things that help.
It really sucks with those conditions that affect your self-image to the extent they give you a depression on top of the actual physical symptoms. I can relate -- I don't have PCOS as far as I know, but have been "blessed" (heh) with genes that ensure I keep Gillette Venus in business single-handedly in the summer half of the year (at least that's what it feels like) and if my acne clears up in time for my menopause, that would be just wonderful. Sigh.
Also have a rheumatoid illness going on that is chronic and I can identify with the doctor avoidance. It's just more comfortable to pretend it's not there (and when the symptoms become "routine", you can actually do that trick), than face the music and start time- and energy-consuming treatment.
Good for you that you're getting a doctor's appointment, and good luck losing weight, if that's your resolution. I don't know if it would be the right thing for you, but my husband managed to lose about 40 pounds overweight last year (which he'd gained over a decade and seemed impossible to shift) when we bought an exercise bike and he was able to do his exercise routine right at home. He'd tried all sorts of things in vain, but for him, that turned out to be the one routine he could sustain energy for (and not feel self-conscious about it, since he could do it at home) and we're both amazed at the difference it made for him to just find the right (for him) approach.
I've decided to get a treadmill -- it's just a matter of going over to Wal-Mart to pick one out and getting my father to help me bring it home with his pickup truck. I used to enjoy going to the gym (I used to work at night, and I went to a 24-hour gym), but since getting this job, the long commute time has really put a damper on working out. I get up at 5:30, leave the house by 6:30, and don't get home until 7 p.m. I'm in bed by 10. I'm not getting up any earlier to go to a gym!
I decided that I should work out for an hour while I watch the delicious Chris Meloni on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. That gives me incentive!
But combining work-out with hunk-watching sounds like it might be a very good solution. :)
I have epilepsy that started manifesting itself for the first time about eight years ago. I have had two examamination phases but they never found any "technical" evidence from the tests as I had no symptoms during them. I've been suffering from depression too with slightly manic phases, and the doctors dismissed my seizures with unconsciousness and convulsions as hyperventilation. Fortunately, there are meds that are used for both depression&epilepsy, so now I have a treatment that helps. It's been hard to accept that I may have to spend about 100 euros(a bit more than 100 dollars) every month on the meds for the rest of my life and be dependent on them, but if they make me able to actually function like a normal person (or as close as I can get to one... ;P), it is worth it.
Try not to loose hope that the things can get better! We are here for you. *hugs tight*